November 30, 2003

THURSDAY 27th NOVEMBER

GIVING THANKS

I spent my first Thanksgiving at the Lady's house in the 'burbs of Philadelphia with her family and their family and their friends and a few of their son's school friends.

It's like having Christmas dinner twice in a month. At least at Christmas you know you have the lean quiet month to digest your food and avoid letters from the bank about your debt.

We celebrated in the evening with a traditional(?) belly dancer. She tinkled and twirled and shimmied her curves. I had had a little to drink and had to be pulled away by the Lady's father for dancing too much with her. I think only married men get the privilige - or so it seemed.

Banished to the corner, I was asked several times by the (Middle Eastern) family if we celebrated TG in England. They didn't quite get it when I replied and said the rest of England thanked god when all that lot left Plymouth too.

Posted by Guy Brighton at 6:36 PM | Comments (0)

November 26, 2003

TUESDAY 25th NOVEMBER

BORDER CONTROL

I got back in! No problem. I shouldn't have worried. If you are an alien that is trying to stay in the USA as much as possible - e.g. job hunting, like myself here are a few ideas that you could try (of course, (esp. if you're a government person reading this) I never endorse breaking of any US laws - the following is just part of my a humorous/tongue in cheek blog)

WAYS TO MAKE GETTING THROUGH US IMMIGRATION QUICKER
* Don't outstay your tourist visa. Data in Immigration databases is now more complete and accessible to the Immigrationb bods. They'll take you into the little room and give you hell.
* Between visits to the US - try to stay away for as long as possible
* Don't go to Canada or Mexico for a weekend trip thinking you'll renew the visa when you come back. You could get sent home leaving your possessions in Miami and your girlfriend in LA
* Have a job in your home country that you'll, of course, need to return to in a week, sir
* Run your own business so you can visit your customers in New York
* Fly on a US airline vs. Air India or from somewhere where Bush isn't too familiar with right now
* Be as nice as hell to the Immigration person
* Explain that you come to America a lot becuase you have a girlfriend / boyfriend
* Don't have a criminal record in your home country
* Coming from the country that is America's 'closest friend' may help - but who knows whether the Latino Immigration Officer really agrees.

So basically: work within the rules - never do anything illegal.

Posted by Guy Brighton at 11:27 AM | Comments (0)

November 23, 2003

SATURDAY 22nd NOVEMBER / SUNDAY 23rd NOVEMBER

GLASGOW THE BRAVE

I flew to Glasgow to a fantastic wedding in Glasgow on Saturday for Jenn and Tony. The ceremony was at the chapel at Glasgow University and the reception held at Gledoch House. Piper and all.

I spent Sunday pottering around Glasgow on my tod. I didn't realise what a beautiful city it really was. The architecture is amazing (McIntosh et al.). Like Greece I suppose, it's as if some great civilisation built this wonderful ancient city and then left it to the present day population. Absolutely wasted int he majority of the people there....

Posted by Guy Brighton at 11:30 AM | Comments (0)

November 19, 2003

NEW YORK COOL PLACES GUIDE

Areas worth checking out if you're visiting New York:

COOL AREAS:

MEATPACKING, EAST VILLAGE, WEST VILLAGE (for food), WILLIAMSBURG, SMITH ST on COBBLE HILL in BROOKLYN, DUMBO

Posted by Guy Brighton at 12:19 PM | Comments (0)

WEDNESDAY 19th NOVEMBER

LET'S MEET UP

So again, I realise how I am getting used to New York ways of life. Am still back in London and I try to see as many people as possible whilst I'm here. Of course everyone works so I stack them up on the evening.

On Wednesday I try to see Tammy (script development friend) about my Ralph Two Bellies script at 6.15 at Nordic in Noho; Alex, Snell and my Bro at 7.30 at Ye Grapes in Mayfair, and then Davo and others for wine tasting at AKA in Covent Garden at 8.30pm.

Yeah - you can see it coming, can't you. It's bascially shows how alcohol related socialising is in the UK. My 6.15 with Tammy lasted 2 hours and three glasses of wine. The taxi takes 30 minutes to go a mile... Snell has been sitting at a bar in Ye Grapes by himself for an hour. My brother has been sitting by himself in Ye Grapes for an hour. I turn up - have to apply Stella to cheer them up and introduce each other. Alex turns up at 9 - and so it's rude not to hang around and catch up. I call and I'm telling Davo I'll be there at 9.30. 10 comes around and Davo is phoning me and having a go at me about not being at AKA and that it's rude me not being there . I'm, like, ('like'!- see I told you I'm getting New York) I'm getting in a taxi now - and Davo tells me he and his girlfriend are too drunk. I catch myself replying 'well in New York - people don't get pissed and 10 is a reasonable time to meet people'. It's as if I've lived here for 5 years.

Posted by Guy Brighton at 11:03 AM | Comments (0)

November 17, 2003

MON 17th NOV : NATION OF SHOPKEEPERS = LIFETIME OF SERVICE MISERY

(NB I'm back in London this week)

So I had to get an emergency appointment for the tooth. the molar at the back. The Abesol I bought in the US worked once to numb it and then I found it useless after that application. A kind and grentle dentist in the UK extracted the nerve and a few pounds less than it would have cost in New York.

I realised how much I had changed when I talked to the woman behind the desk. You come to expect everybody in the customer front line to smile and be nice to you when you enter a store or a bank or a hotel and so on. They ask how you are - you ask how they are. They respond well when you ask them a question. We all smile. It's all very superficial but it's all rather nice.

So I walked into the denitst's reception on Falcon Road, Clapham Junctn and immediately ask how she was? Of course she eyes me as a looney and asks me what I want.

My dentist visit turned out to involve three sessions downstairs in the dental dungeon. After the first session I went back to the reception to wait for X-rays. I asked the receptionist (as she filed some papers) how much I should expect to pay when she got the chance. She didn't reply, continued to finish filing and then gave a questioning glance. I asked her again about the expected cost and she told me that's what they call 'An Estimate'.

Oh, i see....

I retired to the seats waiting for her to run one off and she shouted across 'you have to pay today, you know'. As I waited for the dentist to call me I got nervous at the idea of drilling. I got a cup of water from the fountain ('For customers only - aged 10 and above' the sign read). As I finished the cup I was called back down to the dentist room. I couldn't see a bin so I put the cup on the receptionists desk and asked if i could leave this here. She got up and moved herself before me and sullenly picked up the cup and dropped the cup in a tiny bin that I hadn't quite caught. I kindly apologised for not seeing it - she blanked me. As I walked down the stairs I realised that I was talking to her as if she was an American - and she thought I was a toffee nosed w*nker as a result.

There was only one thing to do when I came back up stairs. Continue to act the same way for the rest of my visit.... she was glad to see the back of me.

Posted by Guy Brighton at 6:48 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 15, 2003

SATURDAY 15th NOVEMBER

BACK IN THE UKUR

Cor blimey gov'nor. Doom & Gloom! Crimes on the rise. Who shall we point the finger at today. Or that's what the paper's report.

Got scared walking through the airport....

Posted by Guy Brighton at 11:28 PM | Comments (0)

November 14, 2003

THURS 13th NOV : LITTLE yUK

Had to go to a clothing store called Century 21 yesterday to try to buy my dad something for his birthday. It's just by Ground Zero and is one of those places where they sell last year's line for cheap. Bloody hell: The place is like Little Britian. There were more British accents than Hispanic. The place is worse than a debenhams in a northern provincial town but it must be featured in all the books. Feels weird to see so many Brits at one time. Oi, you lot - clear off - this is my adventure...

Posted by Guy Brighton at 12:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 12, 2003

EMAIL TO OWNER OF PM BAR IN NEW YORK'S MEATPACKING DISTRICT

Maybe I just went too far. I'm just fed up with this crappy bar and the French tosser on the door. I'll post the response.

To: david@pmlounge.com
Re. Friday Night
Date: Monday 10th November 2003

Dear David,

I was a little disappointed on Friday when my guests from London were unable to eat at your restaurant. Having booked a booth for the quiet hour of 9pm a couple of days earlier when I was with Beth I was surprised that your 'host' refused to let us in until two of the girls who were coming would join us so that we had equal numbers. So we stood in the cold for 10 mins then he noticed one of our group had fashionable sneakers and it was all over and he refused to let us in.

I'm sure you are trying to make some sort of image for yourselves but if you won't let 10 fashion designers from London then I just wonder what sort of arseholes you want to attract there.

I don't want a response to this email. I doubt you really care about what happened. But you embarrassed me so I've made it my mission this week to go to every bar/nightlife review web site, every blog site and every magazine site and bad mouth your restaurant. I'm going to do this everyday at everysite I find until my reviews outnumber everyone else's put together. Then maybe a few more people (who you won't let in) will know what a bunch of arr*gant m*****f****** ars*holes you and your three partners really are.

Cheers!

Posted by Guy Brighton at 11:14 AM | Comments (0)

November 10, 2003

MON 10th NOV : RECOVERY

Of course - I recovered from the weekend by blaggng it into Peter Gabriel's do at Soho House NY. Anna Garbiel was screening a documentary about her father that she had made by getting most the people to work for free. I hear she had forgotten most of the people who gave her favors from the credits!

Didn't spot any washed up B List British celebrities. Oh hang on, Peter Gabriel was there!

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BRIT INVASION - 5th NOVEMBER to 10th NOVEMBER

TRYING TO REMEMBER THE 5th OF NOVEMBER

They arrived. All 8 of them. Some had been before, others were wide eyed.

Met them all last Thursday at the Maritime hotel at noon in Chelsea and we decided to go for a walk down Meatpacking. All the girls were wide eyed with excitement. I march them around this corner and we see some filming. I'm of course blase? about it and then Sarah-Jessica Parker Bowles or whatever her name is walks out and some bloke shouts Action. There then proceeded about 20 of the crew trying to stop mad Brits with flashing cameras and video cameras running up to touch her. The ginger one was there as well but who really cares.

I think the girls must have got some inspiration because it started a 5 day shopping spree for all of them. They dashed in to Jeffreys so Scottish John and I went to the Gas Light for one. You know it's going to be a blast when Scottish John turns up and tells you that he's got a new girlfriend: I ask him how he met her and he replies that she beat him twice at arm wrestling at a party in Leicester. Pretty easily, he admitted.

They all turn up and the bar-man can't believe he's got to work on an afternoon. They get through about 5 drinks each in a space of an hour!

Took them to Franks in East Village which they turned up late for and so the table got all mucked up and we ate about two hours later than planned but Scott got to sit next to 2 pretty boys so he was happy.

The Lady came out with us on Friday and we met in the evening back at the Maritime Hotel's bar. We walked through the freezing night down to the latest trendy bar/restaurant called PM on Gansewoort for some food. A couple of the girls were late so when we turned up this cnut of an arrogant french bloke refused to let us in - saying there had to be equal numbers. Then he saw Scottish John was wearing sneakers and he freaked. Fking embarrassing. ... I just had to pause this blog to email a note to the guy (spambot:david@pmlounge.com) on the restaurant business card to tell him what an ars*hole he is. Going to go to every review web site and leave a bad review about them - or that's what I wrote.

Anyway Rhone round the corner was better and more relaxed but even then we waited 2 hours for a table. I think the crowd put away about 10 drinks each before we got to eat at 11pm. I caught Scottish John chatting up a gorgeous bird in a queue for the toilets and he got her number! What? In New York? Yes! He told her he lived in East Village and she says, so do I - where abouts? That stumped him so I think he played drunk. I left them as they went to fall over at the bar APT and I went to a party with the Lady in Murray Hill: I still ended up in Meatpacking: in Passerby jigging at 5 in the morning to Outcast.

Saturday I can't remember. Oh yeah, had a great night at the French bistro La Jumel with a mate of Geordie Alex and a few of his yank lawyer friends. Scottish John performed magic tricks which I reckon he must be pretty good at when he's sober. Of course, we ate a couple of hours after we arrived but we had huge steaks. They had to run out to the shops to get extra large bottles of wine for us. After three hours the meal bill only came to 55 dollars - we were all surprised, perhaps not as surprised as the four sober lawyers down the other end of the table. Ended up in Tribeca Grand where The Lady proceeded to make sure she had a photo of her kissing the cheek of every guy in our party. I had to ask her for one with me....

On Sunday I met them during the day and realised why I hadn't met them during the days before. All they wanted to do was walk around the bloody shops. I couldn't believe that after 4 days that hadn't been to all the shops they wanted to. Dragged a few of them over to the skylift over to Roosevelt Island. Scottish John went green. Alex insulted the locals by referring to the island as the 'nut house' (it's where the old Victorian looney bins were) - one woman snapped back at him that he came from the 'nuthouse'. Even people in NYC must know about Newcastle then....

Later the Lady joined me and Scottish John (the others were shopping) and she showed us a great bar in Times Square called 'Jimmy's Corner' run by a boxing trainer and one of those bars with a million photos of visitors. John and I had a couple of pints then I took a pic of him with the barman and he told me he was going to send it in so it would appear in the wall or under the plastic of the bar. He reckoned 20'' by 20'' in size would suffice. You just know it will happen.

About 12 of us ended up in another great French Bistro (Bar Tabac) on Smith Street in Brooklyn (after visiting Pier 116). It took about an hour and a half until we started eating. Then to a bar called Halcyon which was also a furniture shop, a record shop and a cafe.... (cool!)

Saw them for lunch (Monday) today and they're all drinking beer before heading for some shops. "Haven't you lot gone by now?" Need a lifetime to recover.

Posted by Guy Brighton at 10:44 PM | Comments (0)

November 3, 2003

SATURDAY 1st NOVEMBER

GUILT TRIP

Greyhound buses are hilarious. The drivers think they're sheriff or maybe something more senior. Every time you watch as the staff treat you like a piece of meat. The drivers are the worst. This time the driver on the 11am to Philadelphia spent 15 minutes screaming at a passenger who had moved his bag to get a seat. The driver ordered the guy off the bus and there was uproar as everyone tried to support his cause. The supervisor came on and told everyone to mind their own business - "surely it was wrong for anybody to move another man's bag". We're talking about your company letting us sit down, mate.

Everyone demanded a new driver but the Super wasn't listening. In the end they got the cops to get the poor customer at the front off the bus. I'm sure Greyhound will press full charges. Others refused to ride with the driver and complained to get a refund but I doubt they'll even get one. Greyhound must think they don;t have to treat their customers with any respect. Pathetic : But it's not really the drivers - anyone can see that it's endemic within the organization and you really have to point your finger at the people at the top who don;t care less.

I must work out how to get the bus from Chinatown to Chinatown next time.

Posted by Guy Brighton at 6:51 PM | Comments (0)

FRIDAY 31st OCTOBER : FREAKY FRIDAY

I hesitated. I told the Lady, no. I said we don't do it where I come from but she still won. She first took me across town to see all the other freaks dressed up then she convinced me to try myself.

I had little to wear and my grey shorts didn't fit around my belly to let me do 'School of Rock'. The Lady was a little less impressed when I found a white blazer and did Don Johnson - she said I could get away with that in New York on a normal school night.

I dragged her 'sorry gypsy arse' down to Thom where BIG magazine held a party. At 11pm it rocked and we all laughed at each other's get up. At 1am we were tired and eary of the creap we were wearing and wanted to be back in jeans and sneakers.

Best Halloween Spots:
* MacDonalds Milshake in West Village
* Twenty Dollar bill on parade
* The Highlighter Man at Thom
* The Birds couple at Thom
* Esther Someone The Swimmer at Thom

Why we stayed out to 4am on Halloween I don't know. After Thom we walked through SoHo scouring it for hang outs. Happily for me we ended up in Fanelli's cafe on Prince Street. The girls hated it but it served a good Stella and I enjoyed the fact that it was the second oldest pub in the city - or so they claimed.

Posted by Guy Brighton at 6:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack