Guy Brighton: Sun 27th March : Dropping The F Word

Sun 27th March : Dropping The F Word

It started only recently. I mean, two years is almost coming up and it's only in the last couple of months she asked me to stop. Stop opening my mouth and using a perfectly brilliant little word.

At first I thought she wanted me to stop using the F word in the apartment. My reaction was to tell her that she was restricting my right to express myself effectively, but then I thought: well she does pay the mortgage and feed me lovely grub. I could keep quiet at home, no problem.

Then I found her asking me to stop using the word when I was walking down the street explaining what happened last night, or was it about something on TV. I don't remember. I bit my tongue.

Then she stopped me swearing in the pub....

I had to sit and think about that for a minute and then it dawned on me. "You want to stop me swearing because you think I'll use it around our children (if we ever have any)."

She smirked. My god, I was right! My foot took another slip on that oily slope away from youth towards something quite adult and very alien.

How could I stop this? I thought.
"Oh well, at least I can still use the C word," I grumbled.
"You were banned from using that 2 years ago," she told me.

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